Confessions of Singlehood...

My colleagues and I had a deep discussion the other day and I couldn’t help but dwell more into it. There was I, looking at them, transforming their lives into an identifiable entity…


1. B is getting married soon and he doesn’t even know who or understand how its going to take place, where, and when but he know he is. He is excited to say the least and is undergoing a self development mindset change that could spell the end of singlehood. The self mold is one that I envy and a wishful thinking that possibly, I could be in his shoes one day.

2. A is pronouncing their engagement very soon, been in a courtship for a long time. He seems contented and is very much looking forward to it. Strong and responsible.

3. C is married with a kid and his change has been imminent, and quite obvious from last year. More self proclaimed in a subtle way, less of an animal, more responsible.

4. S is also about to get married, already been in courtship for a long time. Subtle, profound and has his own dwellings that spells steadiness.

5. JL is more or less still the same person I know and is enjoying his youthfulness. Quite possibly in my shoes now... or maybe not...

6. JV is also one of the more emphatic colleagues that spells Casanova. Still enjoying his time although he is married.

7. AMY is one cool dude. Not married, still with miles of youthfulness ahead of him and is surely and definitely enjoying his singlehood.



I looked at the trend… and I reflected it upon my years since post-805. It has been quite a journey I must admit. I am standing here now with at least 59% of my roadmap covered, sealed and achieved. I am still aiming for the remaining part of my 5-year-plan. However, I couldn’t help but reevaluate myself if I am headed towards the right direction.

A part of me remains a mystery even to myself. I am caught and split between an engagement into my readiness to commit to a relationship. It has become quite a taboo to me. It’s readily available to me, but I retreat into a more comfortable singlehood. Probably afraid to commit, probably scarred, probably don’t wanna end up justifying endlessness. Yes, its me NOW and I wish I can change for the better like how my brothers above are… but I hibernate when confronted into this subject matter. I go into hiatus. Even my parents are querying me on this. But I hate to see all that I have earned post 805 to go away like this. Will it go away? Probably not. Hence, why? ...

Inside me, deep down I believe there’s a hint of space left for ‘the other half’… there is, however, there is a great deal for me to work on it and I just don’t have the time to do it. Me, being away and far off my original continent, wants to believe, but the odds are there. I once had an inkling that 2009 will be my target year to achieve ‘partnerships’ or ‘marriage’ but that failed recently.


Thus, at the moment, I come to a conclusion that, nope, this is not the year to be. Why? Because here are 9 good reasons:

1. I still cant switch off my phone after work, never mind going to sleep and having 3 cells by my bed side

2. I cannot commit to a weekend at a pretty resort, even for 2 days without thinking about work, never mind getting 20 sms-es regarding work on silent mode watching a 2 hour movie.

3. I cannot imagine having someone calling me every night to talk about love and what not, never mind imagining having someone to sleep beside me. (I love my bedtime even with the empty space beside)

4. I am barely up to my neck trying to solve my own issues (..and thereof whoever is under me…), never mind trying to ponder about other issues on love.

5. I still have a traveler’s mindset and heart,… alone that is. I don’t rule out romantic travels in the future (… which I have been through…)

6. I still love the privilege of having options (in finances most of all… time and responsibility on the top three). I know some in the above list do not.

7. I believe I am not fit yet to care for someone, when I can barely hold on to my emotions at work… at times. Attached and married people have that extra inch of patience to withstand this.

8. I believe I need to get back in shape in 2009. I have seriously went overboard and I am still trying to convince myself that its time for me to cut the pounds, never mind being nagged to do so.

9. I believe I need to be financially stronger to venture by myself (for survival purposes). Resource is a not a problem now, but I hope I can improve on the one strength that I have now… to be sure.


I could be evasive and selfish and whatever they might call it (some have truly commented on this especially those I have politely refused), but I don’t mean harm and my intentions are well beyond what I can do at the moment. I hope everyone understands… most importantly, with this, I have answered some questions that my heart yearns.

Earth Hour... Or Revelation?

It has been a while since a science fiction thriller really sent a surreal feeling of apocalypse… with an agenda. What transpired over the next 2 hours of the movie somewhat had me intrigued rather than jumping off my seat over ’12 Rounds’. There were no bullets flying around, no explosions but yet, had me glued to the seat finding it hard to believe that the more the story went on, the more it felt like a revelation of sorts. The essence is not just the apocalypse and the voodoo of having a pre-empt scientific premonition but more of a look into our religious beliefs.

Ezekiel Wheel? Tree of Life? Doesn’t that sound more like a religious item? In fact, my interpretation of it was, the revelation of our belief in God. That being Cage’s dad a pastor, and Cage being a science professor with MIT that chooses to believe in the theory of determination and what not as a case of random occurrences instead of life as a being or faith. Also, the ‘whispering people’…. There were so many parts in the thriller that points out to one thing and one thing that all religions professes in, ‘Pray’ and start believing. The fact that Cage wasn’t the ‘Chosen’ one towards the end of the story and how his tears denoted another revelation where he began to understand how and why he wasn’t the chosen one being a non believer simply denotes one thing, the end of the world isn’t too far away and if you haven’t heard yet (part thereof from the whispering people) or prayed lately, we better start doing so and hope that at the end of the day on Judgment Day, we can be forgiven for not doing it in the first place. Sounds complicated? … I think not.

Apart from it being a science fiction (so-called), I think it also serves us with a surreal but defined message that no matter where we go, family is where it all begins and ends, and given the current climate situation on Earth, the ‘Solar Flare’ or any other apocalypse (next movie coming up in ‘Super Typhoon’), some day, it will happen and if we don’t take drastic steps to change the way we consume mother nature’s wealth, we will end up killing it. The release of the movie was also coincidentally tied up with the on going Earth Hour events all around the world.

On the whole, the movie was an entertaining chapter to conclude my busy week, to ponder again, believing that God have reasons for everything that happens... or are they just a series of pre-determined sequences synchronized as a cause to scientific theories?....

On a lighter note, below here were pictures of KL, before and after EH60 started *Courtesy of TheStar.

Notice how KL went 'dark' for one hour.

Would anyone dare to imagine what if really, the government supports it to the extend of shutting down all the substations and major grids, making it compulsory to go 'dark', what if that happens... can anyone imagine what will happen within that hour?

What chaos one hour can carry to Kuala Lumpur...

Back to Back Wins...

Back to Back wins for Liverpool... what can I say? 13 goals in 3 weeks... 4-0 against Real Madrid, 4-1 against Manchester Utd and now 5-0 against Aston Villa... what's next? Bring on Fulham of course!!!

Well, thank God for Liverpool to keep the fire and passion burning... work has just been horrendous... with month end rush, political bickerings, mind games, etc, I am almost as good as drained out. With a new project looming and a very packed schedule for the next few weeks, I am really looking forward to pamper thyself to a trip in Hong Kong. Recently booked into 'The Venetian' for a closer taste into the high life... finally answering the question,... if a 5-star hotel is good, what constitutes a 6 1/2 star to begin with? Hence, I am going to answer that question this coming holiday. At a price of MYR1000/nite, I will give it a go!

With all the stress that is going on, I cant wait to be honest! Just need to get myself prepped up for now to ensure my targets are achieved! Before I sign off to cont with my work, here's something for BT, You, YES You, if you are looking, piss off and find someone of your stature to mess with, you old freaking geezer! All you talk and no logical bas3rds, go pack that shit and get on with your pathetic life! You dont deserve this blog but I will give it to you this time... have a blast you pathetic one and we'll see how you succumb to my success, ass crap!

AaaaAAaaHHhh... what a blast! Now, I feel better... now now, that's what the blog is for! :-)

Magical Night!

Man Utd 1 - 4 Liverpool

A scoreline that undermines the intensity of the pre match hype. For all that has been said, yesterday night was somewhat magical and truly sums up Liverpool’s season for me. Even if they are unable to get the title this season (where chances are slim…), I stand proud amongst all together with Kopites around the world.

The two heroes and most published faces on the internet and football world... *pic courtesy of Soccernet and Liverpool FC.tv

A scoreline that undermines the intensity of the pre match hype. For all that has been said, yesterday night was somewhat magical and truly sums up Liverpool’s season for me. Even if they are unable to get the title this season (where chances are slim…), I stand proud amongst all together with Kopites around the world.

For every goal that was scored, my phone line was inundated with text messages and phone calls. Little did I even realize the 4th nail was hammered onto Man Utd until the whole place erupted at Howzat (English pub in Makati)! By this time, I had little voice to embarrass myself (although I did a good job in dancing my way around MU supporters sitted nearby – fellow colleagues that is). Truly a memorable night. I suddenly found myself lost into the realms of Anfield… I started belting out Liverpool’s chorus chants, YNWA, etc (which on normal days and in sober mode, I wouldn’t). I believe my actions were kinda restrained and had it not for the Mancunians staying quiet after their first goal, I would have given them an ever harder time! I cannot sum up more other than, Great Night, and at OT, makes it even sweeter!

Rivalry between this two clubs dates back to the stone ages (literally) and no one can doubt that! I came back at about 2am after some more partying to the great night and logging on to the internet was even pleasing. Headline flashing across all webpages including Soccernet, Liverpool’s webbie, newspapers, dailies and even FB!!! …. ‘Stunning Liverpool Runs Riot’, ‘Rafa hails Reds Display’, etc.

The other time as far as I can recall being in the same similar jubilant mood was the match against Newcastle (4-3) and also the comback CL Final, Istanbul, in 2005.

But kudos to Gerrard and Torres... clinical finishing, great partnership, sublime performances all round. It's the GT Partnership... YNWA... and given the latest stats, Anfield is truly a Fortress. The table above shows how Anfield is being restored to its glory again...

Of Fine Wines and Champagnes...

And so, we were at it again.... more champagnes and wine instead of beers... another big one bites the dust...

The super large champagne bottle on the table...

...and before.... the MOETs we popped....

Penfolds in line.....

Fine champagnes and wines, fine dining... recession? What recession?.... by the way, think this time, my days are numbered in the Philippines. I just received a call from my former boss requesting me to firefight in Cambodia... and I have just rejected his offer.

We'll wait and see what prevails later...

Domestication

I find myself in a rather peculiar situation this year… a word I find amusing yet, serving as a wake up call, or rather… NOT. The word is… ‘Domesticated – accustomed to home life’ OR ‘Domestication – a process of accommodation to domestic life’ which originates from the word ‘Domestic’.

Two years ago, as far as I can recall, everyone was within the reach of phone calls, anytime, anywhere… this year, I cannot say the same anymore. Wild card entrees are not accepted anymore. J Meeting everyone now was like to have a reservation made at The Ivy in London…. 6 months advance, and yet, seats are not guaranteed. J …. And what does this tells you? You go figure…

Anyway, the year started off fairly good but in quick succession that I didnt even realize its passing. CNY's preparation came and went by, and before we knew it, we were tossing 'yee sang' on the 3rd day of CNY.

Since it was the year of the Ox, we had to honor him.

Not to mention the sumptuous meal prepared by my Mom. Yum yum... all my favorites + imported beers!

Before and During 'Yee Sang'

Anyway, I am not all good as well because I think without me realizing it, I am slowly becoming ‘The Ivy’ myself even though I am not ‘Domesticated’ yet…. Going out is so ‘a-thing-of-the-past’ already. I’d rather sit quietly tucked in the corner of a coffee shop and watch time pass by. Just the other day, a bunch of my friends from KL and neighboring cities, drove to Ipoh for a small get together. I was excited yet thrilled, and I had prepared a list of ‘to-do-things’ and ‘places-of-interest’ for our binge one day session including dim sum the very next morning. And so, we were off to Riverbank Sincero at Sunway City Ipoh to start off the evening at 5.30pm and without wasting time, a bottle of Gordon Blu was on the table.

Early Drink to start off the binge session. This was 5 minutes into the action... 1/4 gone.

However, after the solo bottle on the table, our plan had to be abandoned because it was a white wash, most of us were already tired. Probably because age was catching up. We went home thereafter.

Not withstanding which, the tone of drinks these days seems to be maturing. Last year, I remembered I was still on beer, but end of last year and this year, fine tuning of the palate seemed to have changed from that to fine wines and champagnes.

Both of them are my counterparts in Philippines.... and I am not talking about standard champagne bottles... big ones... sometimes two at one go.

I think the community should thank us for spurring the economy further since no one was spending. Anyway, Let's just hope the year augurs well for all... and sorry for the update. I thought I could have posted this earlier but to my surprise, I couldnt. Will work on that...


Now back in the Philippines and I am already in the thick of action. Phase 8 has started, the only difference is, I have 2 more assistants and I can start working on other aspects of the project which I should have last year, Cost Management and Risk & Value Management. :-)

Happy CNY to all!

Time Flies...

What about a blast from the past.....? How many of us wished we could end up being in school again? Never mind the stupidity that comes with it...

I am back in Ipoh again after a month's hiatus and I cant begin to wonder what the new year will bring for me. I feel that its' gonna be a good one... even before the new year started, flipping through all those geomancy and feng shui prediction somehow got me more excited even though the odds were stacked against me.... I wonder why.

It could be a bad one for all I know but one thing's for sure, I cant wait to absorb those challenges. It has been a rather monotonous year for me in 2008 and I cant help to feel I was trying to balance things up and be on the safe side after hearing all those ill-predictions about my stature. This year, I aim to spice things up... :-)

Today is CNY eve... exactly a year back, I had my fair share of adventures, both good and bad. Last year, I was immobilized on the hospital bed on the 3rd Day of CNY... whatta way to start that year... I still remember those days and now, within a blink of an eye, its already 2009. That, my friend, is pretty scary. Last year was an evolution, from beers, to wine and finally champagne (been drowning pretty much towards end of last year and this year)... I have been spending lavishly (trying to boost the economy). This year will be no different.

Watch me GO!!!....

Gong Xi Fatt Chai

January Morning After

It has been almost 1 month since I last wrote. January has been tough going but it was a bittersweet ride. Soon, I will be home again for CNY and the latter will be the start of Phase 8. A lot of changes have taken place but first, CONGRATULATIONS to Khun Chat for having a newborn into this world. The first cub for the animal kingdom!

Christmas came and went by but I must say, it has been the same wonderful period every year. This year's Christmas party was even grander than the previous. This time around, it was held in Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Makati.

From Left: Khun Chat Chai, Johnny (Project Director), Me, and Chee Boon Siang (Deputy PD)

The Gang (from L-R): Chat Chai, Me, Johnny, Chee, Arric

Recession looms in, and I have heard of many lay offs and VSS's being issued... but Thank God, we are surviving in the world of Telecoms and we are spared indirectly. The logic to it is that everyone makes calls, and we are here to connect everyone. In this modern 21st, telecommunications is more of a necessity rather than a luxury. However, I am still keeping my fingers crossed so as to hope that it doesnt drag us down further in this rather precarious situation.

Obama was inaugurated today. Good news? We'll see....

Happy New Year 2009

As usual, the year came and left in whiff… I am not too sure about others but for me, the year went by extremely fast this time. It was like in a blink of an eye. People say time passes by more quickly when you are enjoying it… I guess it’s true.

Last year, I enjoyed myself in the Philippines… apart from work, I think I am benefited from the perks that came along with my job. Even though ridden with stress and hellish hours, I thought my task here was pretty secured and one which was sustainable. This year, would be a wee bit different. Although not much of a change will take place, my position as an expat will be more precarious than last year. I will have to employ a more sustainable approach and strategy to tackle the boardroom antics and politics. In fact, I hate playing these games but when it comes to survival, its game on.

Had a family BBQ yesterday at the garden, it was all close knitted friends etc. I even had invitations and free tickets to parties around town, with which, would have been a dream during my younger days in college. However, I turned all of them down to stay at home. Sign of aging? NO~!!! It’s a sign of maturity!! Hahahaha… it just felt as though getting to town itself was a bane, never mind the crowded bars and foam spraying kids trying to riddle you with their fashion and antics! Hence, I became a good boy yesterday.

Tomorrow, I will be leaving back to Phils for another couple of weeks before flying back to Ipoh for the CNY celebrations. This time around, it will be quieter than usual because of the economic crisis. Hence, I will have more time to close my current project before the new phase starts. I am just keeping my fingers crossed that the towers I ordered before Christmas are already here in the Phils when I return.

I had a look back at what I asked for 5 years ago in January 2004, and now, 5 years on, I am glad I have already obtained 50% of my answer.

Anyway, it’s the New Year and honestly, I cant wait for it to surprise me! Happy New Year!!

To Be OR Not To Be....?

It’s strange this year… stranger than ever. I managed a few surprises myself and a lot of things were unexpected… first of all, I made it back home on the dot for Christmas which was amazing because for the past 10 years, I have not been able to do so… yet, upon arriving, it felt normal. It was an eerie camaraderie because I have always anticipated what Christmas would be like at home. I was neither excited nor sad.

Anyway… I came back for Alan and Bin’s wedding… CONGRATULATIONS to you both… looking at you guys tie the knot and how happy you were looking into each other’s eyes, its easy to forget how both of you struggled through rough patches. I had intended to give it a miss due to work but after thinking about it, it was worth the while coming back. I can never be more happier for you. However, due to work, I had to rough it out through the night… sorry for not being the ‘gunman’ (drinker) that night.

Being in that wedding reminded me of how love was once so important. Its been a topic I choose not to talk about because it scares the shit out of me. Honestly. It doesn’t exactly freak me out but I am unable to feel that I am able to love again. In fact, being attached is pre-dominantly a nonchalant subject to me now. People ask me, you should, must, when, will and yada yada yada… I have absolutely no idea and how it will be. This is what scares me. 5 years ago, I had a target, I achieved it way below the period, and now, I am setting myself another 5 years for my next target. It doesn’t seem to me I care much about being in love again. There have been offers, but I am unable to. I would love to commit but that’s the bitter part, I still can’t find my way back into love. It will take time.

Life in the Philippines have offered me unprecedented freedom but there’s a con to it… it gets a wee bit lonely. I can’t say I have everything but its enough to keep me smiling. Work has become part of my life and I must admit, the role I partake in has eaten up part of my life although I am not complaining. I still find people asking me the same ol’ question… “aren’t you tired of traveling…..?” …. I smile at that question and would have love to return the question,…..“would you rather be in my shoes?”

Time has moved on by so quickly that I have yet to realize its’ passing… the other day I had some quality time with me ol’ friends… 2 Snr Engineers, 1 Programmer, 1 Sports Trainer, 1 Doctor and 1 Businessman. We were catching up with old times and it wasn’t long before I realize, 3 of them are already married with kids, 3 of them by next year and that leaves me, the odd one out, still professing that single life is good.

Am I on the right path?.....

Christmas Almost Here...

Yeah... Christmas is almost here... no doubt about it.... yeah, I too know that its only early November as we speak but decorations are up, people start to sing Christmas songs, and they are filling the air of Christmas shoppers at every departmental stores nationwide... who says the world is plunging to an economic crisis... depression? nah... get outta here... everyone's shopping and in the mood...

WEeeeEeee... my parents are visiting me in the Philippines... how nice... I would be able to shock them of the belief they have that Manila is not like Ipoh... hahahahaha.... that would be fun to watch....

Until then....

Part Hiatus Life...

Since the beginning of the new Phase 8 and having to juggle with Phase 7, it hasnt been easy... but what is easy? The only thing I have to sacrifice is my blogging time.

Christmas this year is definitely foreign to me again... but I am ok with it. I think the most important aspect of Christmas to me is the love and the warmth of the season which must be shared with the other half/ family who believes in the same thing. To me, Christmas is special, a sacred moment that belongs to me and the believers only.... I believe there are loads out there. :-)

Anyway, not too sure about New Year yet... but most likely I will be in Malaysia by then....

You know what... I am trying to change my lifestyle now. Trying to be influenced by my colleagues here to get up at 6am and start jogging before going to work. I know it is a good thing but I am just finding it really hard to do so. On the other hand, if I dont do it, I get tired easily these days due to my packed schedule... hmmmphh... should I OR should I not? We'll see....

Long Hiatus...

Its been one hell of a long hiatus to the point I dont know where to begin... since my last entree till now, it has been just work, work and work. I have been transferred back to Manila and now working on two phases of a project at the same time. That's the reason why.

I seek solace from....

This is a sequential picture. If you enlarge the first one, you can see the bee flying to the first lotus and the second one is the close mode.

A few decisions have been made here and there and in between... and I cannot look back. I hope I dont have to... Also, I guess, I will in for another foreign Christmas this year... which makes it the 12th year in a row I am celebrating Christmas in a foreign land (1 year in US, 7 years in UK, 1 year in Indonesia, 1 year in Pakistan, 2 years in Philippines).

The mood is already on going now in the Philippines. Christmas trees for sale, the lights are up, Christmas songs on the airwaves... it feels good. :-)

It does.... I have always loved Christmas.

A Glance Through: A Flashback

It has been 7 months since I came to this region and there was nothing... it was just an empty shell...

Now that I look back, the transformation is just too much to take in especially now that it feels as though this will be my final glance at the office I set up... due to the new proposition.

Here's a brief look at the changes:

1. Reception Area

TO

2. Sectional Office Area

TO

3. Conference Room

TO

4. Cross Diagonal View

TO

With the new challenge, it will bring me further away from the office that I have got so accustomed to since the beginning of this year... Let's hope its for the better.

Much Ado About Nothing... Part II

Sat in the office today… surfed the net… typed the letter… surfed the net… ate lunch… looked at boat/ yatch prices… watched a movie, downloaded songs from p2p, synching my iphone to the itunes… adding songs… that was pretty much it today…. Why?

1. Twenty two of my original master planned sites in SORSOGON area has been reduced to 6 sites because of the rebel demands. After much political bickering with customers and management, those sites will be reduced.
2. TIGAON was supposed to have tower erection today, however, opposition operator demanded for a work stoppage because of fear that frequencies might crash… what a whole lot of bollocks… but what can we do? It’s all on paper.
3. CALABANGA lot owners weren’t satisfied with the E91, E71s and IPhone we gave them. Some even claimed that the IPhones we gave them were fake. Total of 20 cell phones given out for free just to pacify them and they came back wanting for more. Now they filed a petition against us.
4. OCAMPOCMRS towers are still sailing… with 14 more days to the month end, my towers are still somewhere along the ocean enroute to Philippines. Nice…
   

Now you know why I am free?... somewhere along the fine thin line, its not hard to see that corruption is rampant here. Red tapes are just hollow blocks to corruption. On the other front…

1. A long lost friend has arrived in the Philippines under Ericsson
2. Another friend coming to Philippines at the end of the month… its been almost 6 months since I last saw him
3. I have started my handover to my Asst Manager but he seems to be quite defiant on the idea and put it straight to me that, if I am transferred, the whole team will go with me. He kept on telling me about the ‘All for one, one for all’ thingy that I preached since the beginning of the project to the team. I will continue to explain to him that heroics won’t work here.
4. Heard news from a friend that he met with an accident with the Sultan’s car… hahahahaha… that is one in a million!
5. I have been given the task last week to be YET, another bestman to one of my best friends. This will be the third time… hmmpphh…

Well... so much for the day... more to come this week....