Tiring Week...

Yesterday was great. My driver, a former Corporal with the army had arranged something special for us. He co-acts as my bodyguard too… which is great. Hence, after weeks of hard work, he told me to free up my Sunday and he’ll take me somewhere. He told me I shouldn’t work like that and that I need a break. I agreed despite initial hesitation. It was kinda hard leaving my job behind. OK was my answer nevertheless.

As usual, I went down to the lobby and found that he was already prepared for me,…. in full army gear that is. I was surprised. I asked him where is he taking us?... and he said, don’t worry Sir… I have got all of you covered. Ang, David and myself got into the car, and we went of to an undisclosed location. It was kinda secretive as there were a lot of barriers we needed to go through before getting to the place with security passes. Finally we were there and there was a bunch of army personnel waiting there… all armed. Errr…. Sir Arman… what is this? he smiled… and reassured me. As soon as we got down from the car, Arman introduced us to his colleagues… Sir this and that, this is my Manager, Sir Raymond. Everyone there was so accommodating… so much so… that the initial intimidating stance was all vanished. It felt surreal as we were treated to a VIP briefing of the location.

Still, I had very little idea where we were except that it was a guarded army post. Next up, we were introduced to guns and all. Now, here comes the interesting part. It was a shooting range after all and we were asked if we liked to try it ourselves. I jumped at the idea without hesitation. OMG… it was so real that I found it hard to believe. I looked to my driver and he gave me assurance by nodding his head with a smile. Other army personnels packed a few things and off we went through some rough patches of ground due to the heavy rain before. Upon reaching, one of the guys came to me and strapped a belt on my waist and started loading semi-autos on me. I had 2 rounds of ammo and a .45 calibre. It was exhilarating.

We were briefed on gun usage, the responsibilities that came with it, and what we are supposed to do next. Also, we were briefed on how to use it. It was all very professional. My first time handling a .45, or for that matter, a real gun with real ammo ….. it was real, I mean, we are talking about live bullets here. But it was all safe… no worries… eye goggles, mufflers and there was a bunch of officers there watching over us.

It looked easy… but wasn’t at all! My first few shots went off target. But with proper control, positioning and steadiness… I managed to even hit the bulls eye. As it got along, I was getting the hang of it, but my hands were getting tired because trust me… its not easy. In the end, after about 200 rounds… we thought it was enough for a first timer. It was great fun!

*****

My PDA is rendered useless now since the touch screen is not working. I hope I can get it repaired, if not, a new one has to come in already. It’s so difficult to work without my phone especially when it is a touch screen model. I really miss it. It has been 3 days now since I cannot use it and it feels as though my entire life is paralyzed. In this telecommunication industry, it is extremely difficult without any means of communication.

*****

I am tired. Being a PM isn’t easy. I’d rather be an engineer… and welcome myself to the good ol days of just troubleshooting. In the management ladder, there is a divide and that is what makes it so difficult for the engineers to understand us. However, we have to understand the engineers. The symbiosis is one way. Of course the engineers feel tired… but do I not feel tired? I asked one engineer one day…. He told me he needed a rest… he was exhausted. I said, yes… but finish up the job first. And then I had a frank and honest chat with him, I asked him, what do you think I do everyday. He resisted answering at first but after much coaxing, he did. He said, really, maybe what he sees is that I am sitting down in office, shaking my legs and just coordinating. I smiled at him. I asked him in return, let us do ourselves a favor, why don’t we change places? He smiled, and said no… I asked him why… he said, I don’t know what you do Sir… I told him, right, here’s how it is. You have to take care of 300 sites, both in the NCR and SLZ areas, you have to manage customers, listen to them, succumb to any form of verbal abuse, you have to plan the entire network plan, making sure there are no dependencies, get screwed, screw people, manage logistics… making sure delivery is right, you have to talk to the team leaders (8 in total), and also their downlines at times, which is you (20 in total), talk to the subcons, talk to higher management, go to warehouse and liaise with DHL, get screwed by management, monitor alarms, troubleshoot, planning, monitoring, answerable for every screw up subcons make, and the list goes on and on and on…..

His jaw dropped. He was stunned. And I told him politely,… now, your responsibility is to make sure that your weekly target of a mere 4-5 sites are met. You have a car, your accommodation is paid for, you don’t have to report to higher management, you just basically need to bring these sites on air. Do you still want to swap places with me?

….. silent moments were rendered….

I said… look… now that you understand, please bring up these sites. All of us are tired. Exhausted to be honest… I haven’t had a rest since I came here, it has been 24/7. If you don’t do your job, it looks bad on me and you. Support this project ok?

With his wishful and determined eyes… he said OK Sir…

I rest my case, knowing that realization of what a management seat is like to them now, they will try their utmost best. However, hope is all I can think of. No more than that. Do I want to be an engineer again?.... the question is always there, but reality is always dawning on me knowing that I am on the management ladder already and anything below that is unthinkable and most definitely remain elusive.

*****

Mondays… wished things were much simpler. I miss my college days.