Friday, July 26, 2002

The Malaysian Joke

What do you call a Singh who drinks only soft drinks?
Yeo Hiap Singh

What do you call a Singh who drinks only beer?
Jasbir Singh (Just Beer)

What do you call a Singh who likes to go for a swim at night?
Kuldip Singh (Cool Dip)

What do you call the only Singh left on earth after a nuclear holocaust?
Jestwant Singh (Just One)

What do you call a Singh who owns a ship?
Karpal Singh

What do you call a Singh who owns a ship that sank?
No lah, not Titanic Singh. It's Karam Singh

What do you call the Bhai who was sacked from the national hockey team?
Relax Singh

What do you call a lousy Bhai?
Owtar Singh

What do you a vulgar Singh?
Tiu Niah Singh (Cantonese curse words)

Side tracking a bit here: What does a baby tuna calls it mother?
Tuna Ma (Cantonese curse words again)

What do you call a Singh who's a three star general?
Sam Lap Singh (Cantonese for 3 Stars)

What do you call the Singh who likes roundabouts?
Pu Singh

What do you call a Singh who's a gangster?
Sam Singh

What do you call a Bhai porn actress?
Hard Kaur

What do you call a female Bhai security guard?
Securi Kaur (securicor)

What do you call a Singh who likes to sing?
D.J. Dave!

What do you call baby Singhs?
Singhlets

What do you call the study of Singhs?
Bhailogy (Biology)

What do you call the study of baby Singhs?
Microbhailogy (Microbiology)

If the Sikhs were to succeed in forming their own country,
what will they call their currency?
Mata Wang Ah Singh

What do you call a Singh who's a coward?
Ball One Singh

FROM OUR VISITORS....

What is a Bhai standoff?
Two Bhais bathing together, and one drops the soap!

What do you call the Singh who can swim underwater?
GS Gills

What do you call a Bhai playboy centerfold?
Boh Cheng Kaur (Hokkien - "Not Wearing Pants")

What do you call a horny Bhai?
Gian Singh

Why is the KLIA a favourite for Singhs?
Because they have special immigration lanes for "ORANG AH SINGH"

What do you call the new KLIA taxis?
Limosinghs

What did the Singh say in his traffic accident report?
Dia belakang mari!

What do you call a Bhai girl who likes hot choclate?
Co Kaur (Cocoa)

What do you call a Bhai girl who's an interior decorator?
De Kaur (Decor)

What do you call a Bhai girl who's a gangster?
Tai Kaur

What is the official mode of transportation for Bhais?
Bhaicycle (bicycle)


*Typical M'sian Joke... no offence*



Thursday, July 25, 2002

I Will Survive

Beginning transition period... everyday is an uncertainty but one thing's for sure... 'It ain't over till' the fat lady sings'... and we'll slog it out to achieve it at whatever cost. No one's gonna defy me... nothing's gonna stop me as I will take this battle right up to my throat if I must but I will never fail... this I guarantee! My conscience's clear and Liverpool is all 'Go' for launch. I'm prepared... and I am hell bent on coming out tops. Keep the faith guys!





What Was Your PastLife?

Tuesday, July 16, 2002

Sometimes

It has been a long time since I updated this blog and the same ol' story runs thru' my journal again. I've been kept busy mostly with work and other official stuffs. However, there's one very interesting story that I experienced lately. There was this 2 guys who are mates and a gal who was painting the town red on a Saturday nite. They were dining where I worked and it was obvious they were too drunk. It was about 3.45am when they finished their meal and they started chatting and laughing. Soon enough, one of the guys passed out but the gal continued chatting with the other guy. Long before I knew it, they were snogging and it was as if the whole world wasnt there. And after 5 minutes of intense intimacy, they proceeded to the loo but what caught my eye was that the guy followed the lady into the women's as well. I rushed up to them and to my surprise, they were trying to lock themselves in one of the cubicles. I forced my way through the door and I was really taken aback with what I saw next. Only 5 seconds into the toilet and they were half naked!! They weren't at all embarassed and started dressing up when they knew they had no chance to fuck. The gal who looked more into her mid 20s... told me... "I'm married and legal anyway.... (showing me the ring on her finger)..." and I replied... " I don't give a fuck if you're married or not... just get the fuck outta the loo..." . The guy looked more embarassed and as he passed me, he whispered to me.... "Don't get this out mate... pretend nothing happened yeh? Dont' wanna make this big... her husband is just outside..." . I stared at him...." If you guys wanna get laid... please go fuck somewhere else and not pollute this place with your stinking shit!" ... and as they adjourned to the restaurant's hall... I recalled what they lad told me. He was right... the gal went up to the guy and called out..."Darling... it's time to go home... its' late... the kids are waiting." Her husband then woke up... seemingly fresh now after a 10minutes nap not knowing that his mate nearly fucked his wife... kissed her passionately and left. The other guy... left with them and he managed a little wink and thumbs up towards me. I paused for a moment and asked myself..."Did that just happened?"

I mean... a lad attempted to shag his mate's wife while his mate passed out? What English culture is this? I couldnt help but feel so fucked up by their infidelity. Anyway, it happens everywhere in the world but not to such extent. This is utterly shocking... I'm lost for words. Recently, the British government downgraded cannabis to a C-class drug... which means that anyone can start smoking them or even do pot without having fear of being caught. It's legal in a way when it's illegal! Coke and Crack remaining illegal is a huge sign of relief. Their reason?... too many people are doing them... and if they enforce laws on cannabis as they do on crack or ice... their prisons will be overcrowded! I mean... the whole English system is a full load of crap! This will only encourage more ppl to take cannabis up without having that fear. I really think its a whole load of bollocks! No disrespect to Dave Blunkett... but I think you've got it all so ever wrong.

Moving on... it was nice hearing from my long lost 'brother'...Mark. Hope you're doing fine dude. Keep up the tunes... I'll be there soon... December Tones. For the next coming few months... it'll be harsh reality for me as I will be working towards something important. My time will be so cramped up that I sometimes dread the days to come but I will do it however shit it'll be! I'll start my new resolution this week... from today onwards. It's either you have it this way or nothing at all and I am determined. My MSc. will not be a fluke... I will make it through... for my other, you'll make it at whatever cost. You'll Never Walk Alone... it would seem to be uphill if Friday is not right... but seem would be a word too vague to decide on anything... your determination has taken you this far... it will go on forever. Don't ever lose it... I'll be here. It seems uphill for me as well... but I am sure everything will be worth it at the end of the day. Wish me luck guys.

Today, I sit in my room... wondering what's outside... summer days are back, the sun's smiling, winds at 10 knots... considerably alright for the North West region where winds can go up to 20knots, the usual lone movie and coffee would be ideal for days like this... but today is an exception... as I brace myself for oblivion and solitude for the rough days ahead. Ta'...




You are vivi
You are very shy, yet very powerful. You care about others a lot too. You are a real sweetheart. ^_^

Saturday, July 06, 2002

Man in The Mirror

It's funny how days seems to be filled with anxiety and yet we couldn't do anything about it. Many things and events took place over the past few weeks... too many to be exact that I just don't know where to start. Anyway, to begin with, I bought the new long sleeved Liverpool home jersey for the season '02/'03 on its launch date and the response from the public was far greater than I thought so. People were queueing up for jerseys as though they were free... it was enormous, esthetic and intoxicating... far from what I have imagined it to be. It was just one of them memorable scenes as a truly Liverpool fanatic myself! Coming to the next thing... footie again... I would like to tell the whole world how very glad I am for the Perak Football team back home for lifting the Premier I cup this season... it has been a 13 year wait... CONGRATULATIONS, Champions! Next up... FA cup, Malaysia Cup and Charity Shield!

It will be exactly a year next week since I graduated from LJMU and I will be embarking on a new frontier this time around. It will be a testing period for me both at this very moment and in the future. For the past few weeks... my lines have been so jammed that I wished I had 48 hours in a day. I have been working my socks off at work... and when I'm back at home, other official and important chores seems to be in automatic transmission. Sometimes I wish I could get away from all this just for one day... just one day! My favourite part of the day would be when I am sitted in the car on my way back home. That's the 5 minutes break I enjoy every single day. It is rather silly but it seemed that every car, human, tree and house that passed me by were placed into slow motion. It was like in the movies but strangely enough, that was life and I am sure most people would feel the same when they ask themselves this... "What...?"

Finally, I had a job offer last week but it was for all the wrong reasons. A company from Holland rung me to inform me about an opening in Amsterdam and I was to reply within a day. All benefits were there including a car, relocation and accomodation costs, and everything else that fitted the bill of an expat... no doubt I will be one if I had agreed but not in a million years would I expect myself to be given so much benefits as a fresh graduate. It was like a windfall... I was tempted... the pay was good and I will be working for an International Corporate company in Amsterdam... any better? I didn't think so... but at long last... I rejected it. Why? It was an Auditor's position in a major finance company and I felt it would be better if I remain in what I do best... Engineering. Moreover, I graduated in Mechanical Engineering and only had partial experiences in Accounts Auditing over the past few years... the question many would be asking... then why was I selected? I am dumbfounded as well but the simplest possible explaination I could offer is that they might have felt that my working experience as an Auditor plus my analytical skills in Engineering would be enough to see me through this position. Well... tough luck ain't it? ...as I've said,...for all the wrong reasons...

Nothing is immaculate... I wished everything were... then there'll be less problems but all this are learning experiences. During this tough transition period, we will fight... SP, Des, .. we are fighters. We will make it... and also, I know some of you are pretty pissed off with me for failing to get back to you all after mailing and trying to get me for a few times... but I hope you all understand ok? I am really in the midst of a war here... well... that's it for now... another day to go by... ta'.