As we reach a vigil standstill, ... let us take a moment to cherish the person we love, and also to the people around us with all our heart. Here's an ode to the people I love always and forever.
~Candle Light~
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Friday, May 31, 2002
Thursday, May 30, 2002
Tears In Heaven
It has been raining all day long... with the occasional sunshine peeking through the gap of the window panes. It was just like roller coaster really... hope vs hope. I received the bad news today... CK's wife passed away after her courageous struggle to stay alive fighting leaukemia. She was 29. I felt a nudge almost instantly as I sat on my chair... trying to compose myself with the news. As the feeling sank in... I was utterly devastated. I felt for him and her. Life's moments' all ripped apart. I am totally distorted and my condolences goes out to this courageous person. Unable to speak further... here's to you Chin Keong.
~Eric Clapton-Tears In Heaven~
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.
Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day,
cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven.
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please.
Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven.
It has been raining all day long... with the occasional sunshine peeking through the gap of the window panes. It was just like roller coaster really... hope vs hope. I received the bad news today... CK's wife passed away after her courageous struggle to stay alive fighting leaukemia. She was 29. I felt a nudge almost instantly as I sat on my chair... trying to compose myself with the news. As the feeling sank in... I was utterly devastated. I felt for him and her. Life's moments' all ripped apart. I am totally distorted and my condolences goes out to this courageous person. Unable to speak further... here's to you Chin Keong.
~Eric Clapton-Tears In Heaven~
Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.
Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day,
cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven.
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please.
Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven.
Monday, May 27, 2002
Strange... total blankness but determined. Maybe due to an uptight schedule. To me mates, it has been a busy week and will be for the following week, therefore, hope all of you understand. Things have been alright, all bearings secured but needs some tightening. Has anyone really noticed the passing of the day? I wished there were more hours to the day... but all we have is only 24 hours and sometimes we wonder where the hell has it disappeared into... Over the past few days, I've been utterly saddened by a disturbing news back home that a family friend's wife has been diagnosed with leaukemia. After years of courtship, marriage and now a family of their own with a child... this has to happen. Why... we wonder. But all my thoughts and unreserved prayers are with you CK. I feel as devastated as anyone in this circle. But life has to go on... with one difference... You'll Never Walk Alone... All of us are here with you.
Here I dedicate this song to you... you may not be able to see this blog but here's to you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You'll Never Walk Alone
When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm,
There's a golden sky,
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown...
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone... You'll never walk alone.
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone...
You'll never walk alone.
Here I dedicate this song to you... you may not be able to see this blog but here's to you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You'll Never Walk Alone
When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm,
There's a golden sky,
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown...
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone... You'll never walk alone.
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone...
You'll never walk alone.
Thursday, May 23, 2002
Mind Blogging week ahead. Fear of tripping myself more likely than not knowing what to do. An uptight schedule but all is fine. I am doing better by the day. It has been a revelation. Thank you. New pics online at my gallery. Feel free. Life's little things must be recognised. Do not overshadow them. I'm not a saint... nor is everyone out there... but we try to be one... and most people turn out to be chameleons. We learn from Life's Little Things. Till then....
Monday, May 20, 2002
-A story of today : Angeles-
I live thy life with honor, grace and pride... for nothing shall relief me of my love, passion and determination to be one. Despairity hails us not as Saints and Conquerors but as Patrons of Dereliction and Dearth. Daft is a word not heard of but spoken by commoners. Strugglers are sword wielding commoners never able to stamp a foothold. Fighters are everywhere, depicting a short tale of nomenclatures as legendary heroes embedded in history books. Nobles are trademarks of excellency and of stable principles and discipline. These are the differences between mankind. Scotland never belonged to the Englishmen nor will they be theirs in any given time. It was encouraging and fearsome for the English on the front but they were never meant to be. And the Nobles won the day. The English never did the sun dance... because they thought they had it all. Never stab a man behind his back for your guts will be spat upon your face. Live in reality. No one sympathizes. A loser only demands for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::10000 Maniacs-These Are The Days::
These are the days you'll remember.
Never before and never since, I promise,
Will the whole world be warm as this.
And as you feel it, you'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.
These are the days you'll remember.
When May is rushing over you with desire to be part of the miracles you see in every hour.
You'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.
These are days.
These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break.
These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face.
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be.
See the signs and know their meaning.
It's true, you'll know how it was meant to be.
Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you, to you.
I live thy life with honor, grace and pride... for nothing shall relief me of my love, passion and determination to be one. Despairity hails us not as Saints and Conquerors but as Patrons of Dereliction and Dearth. Daft is a word not heard of but spoken by commoners. Strugglers are sword wielding commoners never able to stamp a foothold. Fighters are everywhere, depicting a short tale of nomenclatures as legendary heroes embedded in history books. Nobles are trademarks of excellency and of stable principles and discipline. These are the differences between mankind. Scotland never belonged to the Englishmen nor will they be theirs in any given time. It was encouraging and fearsome for the English on the front but they were never meant to be. And the Nobles won the day. The English never did the sun dance... because they thought they had it all. Never stab a man behind his back for your guts will be spat upon your face. Live in reality. No one sympathizes. A loser only demands for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::10000 Maniacs-These Are The Days::
These are the days you'll remember.
Never before and never since, I promise,
Will the whole world be warm as this.
And as you feel it, you'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.
These are the days you'll remember.
When May is rushing over you with desire to be part of the miracles you see in every hour.
You'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.
These are days.
These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break.
These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face.
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be.
See the signs and know their meaning.
It's true, you'll know how it was meant to be.
Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you, to you.
Sunday, May 19, 2002
These Are The Days
Tiring day for me. I've been working out a few options and trying to reason with my thinking but things are better now. In fact, I feel much more fresher. It's kinda relaxing to be in this phase but one thing for sure, things are looking better by the day and I feel more determined to go all out to achieve what I've set myself for in the past, now and for my future. Another thing Des... You'll Never Walk Alone. Take it easy. Good luck SC in your coming exams... fingers crossed and lets pray together. I'm always here.
Anyway... feeling sleepy already... hafta hop onto my bed. More later.... 'ta.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::10000 Maniacs-These Are The Days::
These are the days you'll remember.
Never before and never since, I promise, will the whole world be warm as this.
And as you feel it, you'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.
These are the days you'll remember.
When May is rushing over you with desire to be part of the miracles you see in every hour.
You'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.
These are days.
These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break.
These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face.
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be.
See the signs and know their meaning.
It's true, you'll know how it was meant to be.
Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you, to you.
Tiring day for me. I've been working out a few options and trying to reason with my thinking but things are better now. In fact, I feel much more fresher. It's kinda relaxing to be in this phase but one thing for sure, things are looking better by the day and I feel more determined to go all out to achieve what I've set myself for in the past, now and for my future. Another thing Des... You'll Never Walk Alone. Take it easy. Good luck SC in your coming exams... fingers crossed and lets pray together. I'm always here.
Anyway... feeling sleepy already... hafta hop onto my bed. More later.... 'ta.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::10000 Maniacs-These Are The Days::
These are the days you'll remember.
Never before and never since, I promise, will the whole world be warm as this.
And as you feel it, you'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.
These are the days you'll remember.
When May is rushing over you with desire to be part of the miracles you see in every hour.
You'll know it's true that you are blessed and lucky.
It's true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you.
These are days.
These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break.
These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face.
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be.
See the signs and know their meaning.
It's true, you'll know how it was meant to be.
Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you, to you.
Saturday, May 18, 2002
Beautiful
Life is like a 'roller coaster' ride. You get the ups and downs and it never seems to end. Mayve that's life after all. We learn to live with it. I've been busy lately for some reasons. Dont ask me why or in regards to what but I just dont have the time to spare for myself at the moment. Sorry Brother Eric for the late delivery of Nicholas's card... but better late than never right? Anyway, Happy Birthday to Nicholas! I didnt even notice this passing of time. It has been almost a year. I didnt manage to meet Chris from city council this week but will do so next week. He came in just now for supper and I spoke to him for a while... apologized as well but he didnt mind. But definitely meeting him this week.
The KOP story will be out later due to some very tight schedule... it will go online soon. Talking about KOP... I am getting more and more proud to be a Scouser! I even speak like one now! But seriously... although the standard of life is comparitively low here, all Scousers are friendly, passionate and proud of their culture compared to the the arrogant bastards of London... you dont even see them smile... pathetic people I should say. Life too hectic maybe? But coming back to Anfield... i will write on that memorable day as soon as I am allocated a free time.
As usual, work was fine, and need to get some solid sleep now. Had a pretty bad hangover yesterday after 'Bachelors Nite In'... and its just for the name sake... usually we have it every Thursday justa keep up on each other and make sure all of us guys are hanging in here. Well, really gotta go now... talk later. Ta' guys.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Phil Collins - True Colors::
You with the sad eyes, Don't be discouraged,
Oh I realize It's hard to take courage,
In a world full of people,You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness, inside you can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors, Shining through,
I see your true colors, And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, True colors are beautiful, Like a rainbow
Show me a smile then, Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing, If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear, Just call me up,
Because you know I'll be there
And I'll see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show your true colors
True colors are beautiful, Like a rainbow
[intro part]
So sad eyes, Discouraged now, Realize,
When this world makes you crazy,
And you've taken all you can bear,
Just call me up, Because you know I'll be there.
And I'll see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show your true colors
True colors, true colors
Cos there's a shining through, I see your true colors
And that's why I love you, So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
True colors are beautiful, Beautiful, like a rainbow
Life is like a 'roller coaster' ride. You get the ups and downs and it never seems to end. Mayve that's life after all. We learn to live with it. I've been busy lately for some reasons. Dont ask me why or in regards to what but I just dont have the time to spare for myself at the moment. Sorry Brother Eric for the late delivery of Nicholas's card... but better late than never right? Anyway, Happy Birthday to Nicholas! I didnt even notice this passing of time. It has been almost a year. I didnt manage to meet Chris from city council this week but will do so next week. He came in just now for supper and I spoke to him for a while... apologized as well but he didnt mind. But definitely meeting him this week.
The KOP story will be out later due to some very tight schedule... it will go online soon. Talking about KOP... I am getting more and more proud to be a Scouser! I even speak like one now! But seriously... although the standard of life is comparitively low here, all Scousers are friendly, passionate and proud of their culture compared to the the arrogant bastards of London... you dont even see them smile... pathetic people I should say. Life too hectic maybe? But coming back to Anfield... i will write on that memorable day as soon as I am allocated a free time.
As usual, work was fine, and need to get some solid sleep now. Had a pretty bad hangover yesterday after 'Bachelors Nite In'... and its just for the name sake... usually we have it every Thursday justa keep up on each other and make sure all of us guys are hanging in here. Well, really gotta go now... talk later. Ta' guys.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Phil Collins - True Colors::
You with the sad eyes, Don't be discouraged,
Oh I realize It's hard to take courage,
In a world full of people,You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness, inside you can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors, Shining through,
I see your true colors, And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, True colors are beautiful, Like a rainbow
Show me a smile then, Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing, If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear, Just call me up,
Because you know I'll be there
And I'll see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show your true colors
True colors are beautiful, Like a rainbow
[intro part]
So sad eyes, Discouraged now, Realize,
When this world makes you crazy,
And you've taken all you can bear,
Just call me up, Because you know I'll be there.
And I'll see your true colors shining through
I see your true colors And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show your true colors
True colors, true colors
Cos there's a shining through, I see your true colors
And that's why I love you, So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
True colors are beautiful, Beautiful, like a rainbow
Thursday, May 16, 2002
Wednesday, May 15, 2002
These Are The Days
No weblog for today but as a brief... the interview went smoothly and I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. Had a gravely relaxing time in London. Still, now back in Liverpool, contemplating over many issues. Gonna meet with a city council member tomorrow if I can wake up... nothing to do with any crimes or whatsoever... will update more later. Totally freaked out tired. Damn... gotta get some real sleep. 'Ta.
No weblog for today but as a brief... the interview went smoothly and I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. Had a gravely relaxing time in London. Still, now back in Liverpool, contemplating over many issues. Gonna meet with a city council member tomorrow if I can wake up... nothing to do with any crimes or whatsoever... will update more later. Totally freaked out tired. Damn... gotta get some real sleep. 'Ta.
Sunday, May 12, 2002
Happy Mother's Day
Mom... Happy Mother's Day!! Though far away from you... I dedicate the whole site to you today... I am what I am today because of you... you have sacrificed this much and nothing can ever repay your love, dedication and care. I Love You Mom... and I would like to dedicate this poem to you:
You've given me a pair of eyes to see the beauty of life,
You've given me a pair of legs to travel the globe,
You've given me a pair of ears to listen and learn,
You've given me a pair of hands to touch and love,
You've given me a mouth to whisper kind words into ears,
You've given me a nose to breathe endlessly....
Most of all, you've shown and given me....
Love, Dedication, Education, Care, Tears and Laughter...
That will never be replaced by anything in this whole wide world...
Today I celebrate you... coz' you are Special...
No matter how far we are...
You are remembered today for all the things you have given me...
and It's you... My one and only Mom...
Happy Mother's Day.
-0627~110502~RC-
There'll be no updates today as I will be busy over the next two days or so... interview on Monday. Wish me luck. But today is for you mom... when my journal goes online again... a tale of passion on the last day of the Premiership at Anfield will be related. It was simply esthetic... so profound that it will be embedded in my memories forever. Till then... and once again... Happy Mother's Day Mom.
Mom... Happy Mother's Day!! Though far away from you... I dedicate the whole site to you today... I am what I am today because of you... you have sacrificed this much and nothing can ever repay your love, dedication and care. I Love You Mom... and I would like to dedicate this poem to you:
You've given me a pair of eyes to see the beauty of life,
You've given me a pair of legs to travel the globe,
You've given me a pair of ears to listen and learn,
You've given me a pair of hands to touch and love,
You've given me a mouth to whisper kind words into ears,
You've given me a nose to breathe endlessly....
Most of all, you've shown and given me....
Love, Dedication, Education, Care, Tears and Laughter...
That will never be replaced by anything in this whole wide world...
Today I celebrate you... coz' you are Special...
No matter how far we are...
You are remembered today for all the things you have given me...
and It's you... My one and only Mom...
Happy Mother's Day.
-0627~110502~RC-
There'll be no updates today as I will be busy over the next two days or so... interview on Monday. Wish me luck. But today is for you mom... when my journal goes online again... a tale of passion on the last day of the Premiership at Anfield will be related. It was simply esthetic... so profound that it will be embedded in my memories forever. Till then... and once again... Happy Mother's Day Mom.
Saturday, May 11, 2002
You'll Never Walk Alone
Perplexed by the amount of things on my mind... I flipped... but later regained composure. Got up quite early today to sort some things out... the IIE applications has been sent and saw the landlord over another issue which has been bugging me. Moving irritates me... and I just don't feel like it but if the worse happens... I can't do nothing about it but to move. Evening was unexplainable... it was a feeling beyond words. It was so frustrating yet you can't do anything about it. You want to... you know you need to... but all you could do was listen. Ever heard or seen a knife being slowly injected into your heart? Remember 'Saving Private Ryan'? I remained quiet again for the whole day today... it wasn't me.
Mom... Happy Mother's Day!! Though far away from you... I dedicate the whole site to you today... I am what I am today because of you... you have sacrificed this much and nothing can ever repay your love, dedication and care. I Love You Mom... and I would like to dedicate this poem to you:
You've given me a pair of eyes to see the beauty of life,
You've given me a pair of legs to travel the globe,
You've given me a pair of ears to listen and learn,
You've given me a pair of hands to touch and love,
You've given me a mouth to whisper kind words into ears,
You've given me a nose to breathe endlessly....
Most of all, you've shown and given me....
Love, Dedication, Education, Care, Tears and Laughter...
That will never be replaced by anything in this whole wide world...
Today I celebrate you... coz' you are Special...
No matter how far we are...
You are remembered today for all the things you have given me...
and It's you... My one and only Mom...
Happy Mother's Day.
-0627~110502~RC-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll be going to Anfield for the last time this season, the grand finale... final match of the season... I am sure it will be a memorable one... match against Ipswich... it'll be good... and I have been more than delighted to land myself in Liverpool... the land of passion... the song itself means more than anything in my heart... You'll Never Walk Alone... my dreams came true... thanks Dad and Mom... I've waited for 9 years before I got to Anfield for my first official game against Derby County in 2000 which they won 2-0... I was at the Anfield Road stand... I have supported them for 13 years now... and I can go on and on... I live in Liverpool and Liverpool is in my blood... You'll Never Walk Alone Kopites! Will upload some pictures as soon as I get them all scanned.
Well, think I gotta go now... another 5 hours for me before I make my way to the Main Stand again... to witness the grand finale of the season... tra now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Cranberries-Linger::
If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn
Don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm happier
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everyday
I swore, I swore I would be true
But honey so did you
So why were you holding his hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you
But I miss you
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to
Do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
Oh, I thought I loved you
I thought that nothing could go wrong
but I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always ruin you
I just wanna be with you
And I miss you
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to
Do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
And I miss you
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to
Do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
Perplexed by the amount of things on my mind... I flipped... but later regained composure. Got up quite early today to sort some things out... the IIE applications has been sent and saw the landlord over another issue which has been bugging me. Moving irritates me... and I just don't feel like it but if the worse happens... I can't do nothing about it but to move. Evening was unexplainable... it was a feeling beyond words. It was so frustrating yet you can't do anything about it. You want to... you know you need to... but all you could do was listen. Ever heard or seen a knife being slowly injected into your heart? Remember 'Saving Private Ryan'? I remained quiet again for the whole day today... it wasn't me.
Mom... Happy Mother's Day!! Though far away from you... I dedicate the whole site to you today... I am what I am today because of you... you have sacrificed this much and nothing can ever repay your love, dedication and care. I Love You Mom... and I would like to dedicate this poem to you:
You've given me a pair of eyes to see the beauty of life,
You've given me a pair of legs to travel the globe,
You've given me a pair of ears to listen and learn,
You've given me a pair of hands to touch and love,
You've given me a mouth to whisper kind words into ears,
You've given me a nose to breathe endlessly....
Most of all, you've shown and given me....
Love, Dedication, Education, Care, Tears and Laughter...
That will never be replaced by anything in this whole wide world...
Today I celebrate you... coz' you are Special...
No matter how far we are...
You are remembered today for all the things you have given me...
and It's you... My one and only Mom...
Happy Mother's Day.
-0627~110502~RC-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll be going to Anfield for the last time this season, the grand finale... final match of the season... I am sure it will be a memorable one... match against Ipswich... it'll be good... and I have been more than delighted to land myself in Liverpool... the land of passion... the song itself means more than anything in my heart... You'll Never Walk Alone... my dreams came true... thanks Dad and Mom... I've waited for 9 years before I got to Anfield for my first official game against Derby County in 2000 which they won 2-0... I was at the Anfield Road stand... I have supported them for 13 years now... and I can go on and on... I live in Liverpool and Liverpool is in my blood... You'll Never Walk Alone Kopites! Will upload some pictures as soon as I get them all scanned.
Well, think I gotta go now... another 5 hours for me before I make my way to the Main Stand again... to witness the grand finale of the season... tra now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Cranberries-Linger::
If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn
Don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm happier
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everyday
I swore, I swore I would be true
But honey so did you
So why were you holding his hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you
But I miss you
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to
Do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
Oh, I thought I loved you
I thought that nothing could go wrong
but I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always ruin you
I just wanna be with you
And I miss you
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to
Do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
And I miss you
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to
Do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
Friday, May 10, 2002
::Smashing Pumpkins-We Only Come Out At Night::
We only come out at night, the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
And once again, you'll pretend to know me well, my friends
And once again, I'll pretend to know the way
Thru the empty space
Thru the secret places of the heart
We only come out at night, the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
I walk alone, I walk alone to find the way home
I'm on my own, I'm on my own to see the ways
That I can't help the days, you will make it home o.k
I know you can, and you can
We only come out at night, the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
And once again, you'll pretend to know that
There's an end, that there's an end to this begin
It will help you sleep at night
It will make it seem that right is always right
Alright?
We only come out at night
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You'll Never Walk Alone
Alas... finished with the application forms and would be sending it out today. Hope this goes through smoothly. I am tired... it has been a busy week for me... not being able to do the things I want to but it's all for the sake of the scholarship and it's worth the while! Another 11 working hours for me today, tomorrow and the day after... don't ask me how I look now... you guys can imagine it but preparation for my interview on Monday is going good. Mentally prepared for those crazy psychometry tests now... at least I've been through it and it's worth the experience again if not for the better.
My horroscope today quoted..." ..... Today you might be interested in improving your health, Raymond. This could be because you feel a little fatigued or are experiencing some minor aches and pains..... " This was just part of it... hmmphh... makes me wonder sometimes how true are these predictions! I mean... look at it this way... I'm knackered to be honest! That's why sometimes you can't blame me for being so engrossed with the zodiacs! And I am publicly admitting it... YES... I do believe in it and I do not give a rat's ass on whatever shit anyone says. Anyway... I'm better now... just need to take some rest. Not so much the physical side of it but more on the mental exhaustion which is killing my brains. More to come .... and I don't think problems will ever stop coming. We just need to find a solution to everyone of it... even now at the back of my mind... I can see 3 more unsolved problems waiting in line... hafta try sorting it out one by one. Will keep it posted as soon as I am ready to reveal it. Maybe you guys can help me out by posting comments to me located at the end of the weblog. Gotta go now folks... till then... tra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Smashing Pumpkins-By StarLight::
By starlight I'll kiss you
And promise to be your one and only
I'll make you feel happy
And leave you to be lost in mine
And where will we go, what will we do?
Soon said I, will know
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
Cause her eyes were as vacant as the seas
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
And all along, we knew we'd carry on
Just to belong
By starlight I know you
As lovely as a wish granted true
My life has been empty, my life has been untrue
And does she really know, who I really am?
Does she really know me at last
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
We only come out at night, the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
And once again, you'll pretend to know me well, my friends
And once again, I'll pretend to know the way
Thru the empty space
Thru the secret places of the heart
We only come out at night, the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
I walk alone, I walk alone to find the way home
I'm on my own, I'm on my own to see the ways
That I can't help the days, you will make it home o.k
I know you can, and you can
We only come out at night, the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
And once again, you'll pretend to know that
There's an end, that there's an end to this begin
It will help you sleep at night
It will make it seem that right is always right
Alright?
We only come out at night
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You'll Never Walk Alone
Alas... finished with the application forms and would be sending it out today. Hope this goes through smoothly. I am tired... it has been a busy week for me... not being able to do the things I want to but it's all for the sake of the scholarship and it's worth the while! Another 11 working hours for me today, tomorrow and the day after... don't ask me how I look now... you guys can imagine it but preparation for my interview on Monday is going good. Mentally prepared for those crazy psychometry tests now... at least I've been through it and it's worth the experience again if not for the better.
My horroscope today quoted..." ..... Today you might be interested in improving your health, Raymond. This could be because you feel a little fatigued or are experiencing some minor aches and pains..... " This was just part of it... hmmphh... makes me wonder sometimes how true are these predictions! I mean... look at it this way... I'm knackered to be honest! That's why sometimes you can't blame me for being so engrossed with the zodiacs! And I am publicly admitting it... YES... I do believe in it and I do not give a rat's ass on whatever shit anyone says. Anyway... I'm better now... just need to take some rest. Not so much the physical side of it but more on the mental exhaustion which is killing my brains. More to come .... and I don't think problems will ever stop coming. We just need to find a solution to everyone of it... even now at the back of my mind... I can see 3 more unsolved problems waiting in line... hafta try sorting it out one by one. Will keep it posted as soon as I am ready to reveal it. Maybe you guys can help me out by posting comments to me located at the end of the weblog. Gotta go now folks... till then... tra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Smashing Pumpkins-By StarLight::
By starlight I'll kiss you
And promise to be your one and only
I'll make you feel happy
And leave you to be lost in mine
And where will we go, what will we do?
Soon said I, will know
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
Cause her eyes were as vacant as the seas
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
And all along, we knew we'd carry on
Just to belong
By starlight I know you
As lovely as a wish granted true
My life has been empty, my life has been untrue
And does she really know, who I really am?
Does she really know me at last
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
Thursday, May 09, 2002
Early Morning Light
A very tiring but productive day in a sense. Slept for a mere 2 hours last nite trying to rush through a biographical essay. There are still some bits and pieces left but would all be completed by tomorrow and sent out either tomorrow itself or Friday. I am sorry guys if I had not responded to some of your messages as I was totally knackered by the time I got home this evening. Bro Kev... you take it easy k? Mail me when you are losen up a bit and we'll sort something out and Daniel... sorry for missing out on the invitation tonight as we had sort of like a staff night out at Christakis after the football match but thanks for the VIP passes. Most of all Derek... you've been absolutely fantastic and thanks for this Saturday's match tickets. It would be the season's ultimate finale and I bet I'll enjoy every minute of it.
Talking bout' football,... Liverpool won today in a thrilling match unseen for many years now since the exciting matches that Liverpool and Newcastle produces everytime with the same scoreline. Congrats to Arsenal though for being crowned champions at Old Trafford.... but I hafta admit... Liverpool's defence today were out of sorts. They defended poorly, Owen was a pale shadow, the KOP end subdued, a roller coaster show to top that... leading and losing the lead for 3 times before eventually scoring a last gasp winner by Heskey. Blackburn's second and third goal was a total disgrace to Liverpool's standard... how could they have defended like that? Total shambles. But in the end... the score mattered and Liverpool is second with Manchester Utd still trailing. That is why the last match this coming Saturday against Ipswich will determine who goes down to the Champions League play offs. Will be exciting... and again... they won't be without vocal support! Still... today's match was an exciting one and will definitely go down as one of the thrillers in Liverpool's title run in history. We'll hafta wait till Saturday.
There were lotsaf contemplation today... wish I could have done much more or better for them. Edmund was a forlorn figure with a melancholy equalling a hundred years of sorrow. Why? Does sunrise means sunset for some? I shrugged with a sense of bitterness wondering if I could change things. Guess it takes time.
A very tiring but productive day in a sense. Slept for a mere 2 hours last nite trying to rush through a biographical essay. There are still some bits and pieces left but would all be completed by tomorrow and sent out either tomorrow itself or Friday. I am sorry guys if I had not responded to some of your messages as I was totally knackered by the time I got home this evening. Bro Kev... you take it easy k? Mail me when you are losen up a bit and we'll sort something out and Daniel... sorry for missing out on the invitation tonight as we had sort of like a staff night out at Christakis after the football match but thanks for the VIP passes. Most of all Derek... you've been absolutely fantastic and thanks for this Saturday's match tickets. It would be the season's ultimate finale and I bet I'll enjoy every minute of it.
Talking bout' football,... Liverpool won today in a thrilling match unseen for many years now since the exciting matches that Liverpool and Newcastle produces everytime with the same scoreline. Congrats to Arsenal though for being crowned champions at Old Trafford.... but I hafta admit... Liverpool's defence today were out of sorts. They defended poorly, Owen was a pale shadow, the KOP end subdued, a roller coaster show to top that... leading and losing the lead for 3 times before eventually scoring a last gasp winner by Heskey. Blackburn's second and third goal was a total disgrace to Liverpool's standard... how could they have defended like that? Total shambles. But in the end... the score mattered and Liverpool is second with Manchester Utd still trailing. That is why the last match this coming Saturday against Ipswich will determine who goes down to the Champions League play offs. Will be exciting... and again... they won't be without vocal support! Still... today's match was an exciting one and will definitely go down as one of the thrillers in Liverpool's title run in history. We'll hafta wait till Saturday.
There were lotsaf contemplation today... wish I could have done much more or better for them. Edmund was a forlorn figure with a melancholy equalling a hundred years of sorrow. Why? Does sunrise means sunset for some? I shrugged with a sense of bitterness wondering if I could change things. Guess it takes time.
Wednesday, May 08, 2002
By Starlight
A surge of responsibility rushed through my head... reminding me of the countless things undone todate. I woke up yesterday... renewing my confidence once more... hopefully for the better and it was indeed a day to begin with. I worked for 11hours yesterday and still, I managed to obtain letter of references from 3 referees within 2 hours. Tired as I was... I will continue my fight as vowed yesterday. Came back from work, slept for 2 hours and I was up again composing my biographical essay for my scholarship. It's now 6:57am and I've just finished it. Will be going to work again in 3 hours time. As I've said... no hostages taken.... it will be a determined quest on my own... to run right up till the finishing line. I'm sick of tearing myself apart with my own fate... I am my own destiny. I have survived worsed off situations in the States... I'll fight without hoping for admiration... Josh... you're lucky but I'm back.
Recently, there were 3 separate cases of robbery, rape and murder within a block of my flat with the most recent a murder case. The robbery and rape victims were a couple and a girl from China respectively. Both cases were committed by locals. The murder case is still unknown but the area was cordoned off with police crime tapes all over. Worse of all, the area was just beside the traffic police station. All of us are more aware now but not to worry... we are taking security into importance now. Shit happens anyway but now, we are more cautious to the black areas. The word has been passed around. Really, no cause for concern. My life is not that short after all.
The Story Continues....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Smashing Pumpkins-By StarLight::
By starlight I'll kiss you
And promise to be your one and only
I'll make you feel happy
And leave you to be lost in mine
And where will we go, what will we do?
Soon said I, will know
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
Cause her eyes were as vacant as the seas
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
And all along, we knew we'd carry on
Just to belong
By starlight I know you
As lovely as a wish granted true
My life has been empty, my life has been untrue
And does she really know, who I really am?
Does she really know me at last
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
A surge of responsibility rushed through my head... reminding me of the countless things undone todate. I woke up yesterday... renewing my confidence once more... hopefully for the better and it was indeed a day to begin with. I worked for 11hours yesterday and still, I managed to obtain letter of references from 3 referees within 2 hours. Tired as I was... I will continue my fight as vowed yesterday. Came back from work, slept for 2 hours and I was up again composing my biographical essay for my scholarship. It's now 6:57am and I've just finished it. Will be going to work again in 3 hours time. As I've said... no hostages taken.... it will be a determined quest on my own... to run right up till the finishing line. I'm sick of tearing myself apart with my own fate... I am my own destiny. I have survived worsed off situations in the States... I'll fight without hoping for admiration... Josh... you're lucky but I'm back.
Recently, there were 3 separate cases of robbery, rape and murder within a block of my flat with the most recent a murder case. The robbery and rape victims were a couple and a girl from China respectively. Both cases were committed by locals. The murder case is still unknown but the area was cordoned off with police crime tapes all over. Worse of all, the area was just beside the traffic police station. All of us are more aware now but not to worry... we are taking security into importance now. Shit happens anyway but now, we are more cautious to the black areas. The word has been passed around. Really, no cause for concern. My life is not that short after all.
The Story Continues....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Smashing Pumpkins-By StarLight::
By starlight I'll kiss you
And promise to be your one and only
I'll make you feel happy
And leave you to be lost in mine
And where will we go, what will we do?
Soon said I, will know
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
Cause her eyes were as vacant as the seas
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
And all along, we knew we'd carry on
Just to belong
By starlight I know you
As lovely as a wish granted true
My life has been empty, my life has been untrue
And does she really know, who I really am?
Does she really know me at last
Dead eyes, are you just like me?
Tuesday, May 07, 2002
Man In the Mirror
I've gotta make a change... Am I really tougher than tough? Can I still make it? But why am I piling the pressures unto myself? From now till then... there will be no stopping. I won't take hostages. If I wanna make it, I have to pile and assert the pressure. It would be cruel on myself but I need to, because that's what I need to. No one is going to symphatise with me. With or without support... I am taking the risk. I am determined now to make the most out of it. Thanks for the message. And I will trudge this long and winding road ahead of me. Am I afraid? No... what have I gotta lose coz' I am losing already. I only stand to gain if I work harder. Fingers crossed... pray for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Man Bai: Kau Ilhamku::
Beribu bintang di langit kini menghilang
Meraba aku dalam kelam
Rambulan mengambang kini makin suram
Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah
Sedetik wajahmu muncul dalam diam
Ada kerdipan ada sinar
Itukah bintang ataupun rambulan
Terima kasih ku ucapkan
CHORUS :
Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu
Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu
Maafkanlah ohhh....
Andai lagu ini mengganggu ruangan hidupmu
Kau senyumlah ohhh...
Sekadar memori kita di arena ini
Kau ilham ku ....
I've gotta make a change... Am I really tougher than tough? Can I still make it? But why am I piling the pressures unto myself? From now till then... there will be no stopping. I won't take hostages. If I wanna make it, I have to pile and assert the pressure. It would be cruel on myself but I need to, because that's what I need to. No one is going to symphatise with me. With or without support... I am taking the risk. I am determined now to make the most out of it. Thanks for the message. And I will trudge this long and winding road ahead of me. Am I afraid? No... what have I gotta lose coz' I am losing already. I only stand to gain if I work harder. Fingers crossed... pray for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Man Bai: Kau Ilhamku::
Beribu bintang di langit kini menghilang
Meraba aku dalam kelam
Rambulan mengambang kini makin suram
Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah
Sedetik wajahmu muncul dalam diam
Ada kerdipan ada sinar
Itukah bintang ataupun rambulan
Terima kasih ku ucapkan
CHORUS :
Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu
Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu
Maafkanlah ohhh....
Andai lagu ini mengganggu ruangan hidupmu
Kau senyumlah ohhh...
Sekadar memori kita di arena ini
Kau ilham ku ....
Monday, May 06, 2002
Bittersweet Symphony
I remained absolutely silent throughout the day. Not a word uttered during work. My mind was working fast... I had to. I had so many things on my mind that it never did stop thinking. But one phone call helped me alot. Thanks. It meant a lot to me. Else than that, there wasnt much yesterday... the usual Sunday boredom especially when it is Bank Holiday tomorrow on Monday. But one critical decision made was... I will be trying for my Masters degree in MBA majoring in Industrialisation or Public Sector. At the moment, no decision has been made as yet but will definitely see how things move on later in the day.
Exactly 7 more days to go before my interview with PSM International company. Will it change my destiny? What is there to ponder? It's almost 9am on a Monday morning now... Feeling stronger now at the end of the day. SM... you hafta decide now... never make this mistake you'll regret for the rest of your life. It's better losing one than two... think properly. No point in holding back. And Pet... try Snake Bite... not too strong and not too light. Zahar... go easy on your new car ok? And hey bro. Eric.. you take it easy there ok? You'll Never Walk Alone... I'm always here. That's it folks... tra now... later... be good everyone!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Man Bai: Kau Ilhamku::
Beribu bintang di langit kini menghilang
Meraba aku dalam kelam
Rambulan mengambang kini makin suram
Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah
Sedetik wajahmu muncul dalam diam
Ada kerdipan ada sinar
Itukah bintang ataupun rambulan
Terima kasih ku ucapkan
CHORUS :
Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu
Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu
Maafkanlah ohhh....
Andai lagu ini mengganggu ruangan hidupmu
Kau senyumlah ohhh...
Sekadar memori kita di arena ini
Kau ilham ku ....
I remained absolutely silent throughout the day. Not a word uttered during work. My mind was working fast... I had to. I had so many things on my mind that it never did stop thinking. But one phone call helped me alot. Thanks. It meant a lot to me. Else than that, there wasnt much yesterday... the usual Sunday boredom especially when it is Bank Holiday tomorrow on Monday. But one critical decision made was... I will be trying for my Masters degree in MBA majoring in Industrialisation or Public Sector. At the moment, no decision has been made as yet but will definitely see how things move on later in the day.
Exactly 7 more days to go before my interview with PSM International company. Will it change my destiny? What is there to ponder? It's almost 9am on a Monday morning now... Feeling stronger now at the end of the day. SM... you hafta decide now... never make this mistake you'll regret for the rest of your life. It's better losing one than two... think properly. No point in holding back. And Pet... try Snake Bite... not too strong and not too light. Zahar... go easy on your new car ok? And hey bro. Eric.. you take it easy there ok? You'll Never Walk Alone... I'm always here. That's it folks... tra now... later... be good everyone!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Man Bai: Kau Ilhamku::
Beribu bintang di langit kini menghilang
Meraba aku dalam kelam
Rambulan mengambang kini makin suram
Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah
Sedetik wajahmu muncul dalam diam
Ada kerdipan ada sinar
Itukah bintang ataupun rambulan
Terima kasih ku ucapkan
CHORUS :
Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu
Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu
Maafkanlah ohhh....
Andai lagu ini mengganggu ruangan hidupmu
Kau senyumlah ohhh...
Sekadar memori kita di arena ini
Kau ilham ku ....
Sunday, May 05, 2002
Champagne Supernova
Today was superficial. There wasn't any imposition and yet, I felt so cramped up in my head. I wasn't in the best frame of mind... and I had to struggle through 12 hours of work without creating a stir which I failed. I tried holding on but a bi-s pissed me off and I lashed out at the final hour. Although it wasn't such a big mess but an impression was fabricated almost instantly as I had remained quiet throughout the day. People around me and colleagues alike were concerned as I was usually bouncy at work especially when I am dubbed Travolta as I used to do the Saturday Night Fever jig. Anyway, tough beans... it wasn't my day today at all.
I encountered another thing as well today... a realisation into the world of strange voices. Throughout the day, I discovered something which I found quite strange... which was being in a position where everyone spoke Mandarin and it was sad as I was basically baffled at every conversation with my colleagues. In fact, most friends whom I know of here are of a Chinese background which totally contradicts my bringing-up language. In my point of view, my linguistic capabilities would outshine anyone I know here at the moment but reality sux... and I am finding it pretty frustrating to be lacking in making people understand what I'm trying to say in Mandarin although it is fair to say that it is not entirely not-understandable. In the UK... I dare say that none are on equal frequency as I am as I tend to be more grunge. The only international language keeping me sane while working here is Humour. No offence to anyone but hey, life sux for the second time, shit happens and I am still surviving in a foreigner's foreign soil...make that double as I am in a foreign soil plus having to be perplexed by my own mother tongue! But of course, I am still learning in my detoured route in life and I have never regretted having to be brought up by my English roots.
It's 7:31am now... 6 more hours before another battle through my working Sunday. How depressing can that get? But I fret no more and still, I am holding on to my fort. And I am wishing for an understanding so badly... coz' no one sees the way I am seeing now. We'll see how tomorrow comes... till then... tra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Counting Crows - Sullivan Street::
Take the way home that leads back to Sullivan Street
Past the shadows that fall down wherever we meet
Pretty soon now I won't come around
I'm almost drowning in her sea
She's nearly fallen to her knees
Take the way home
Take the way home that leads back to Sullivan Street
Where all the bodies hang on the air
If she remembers, she hides it whenever we meet
Either way now, I don't really care
Cause I'm gone from there
I'm almost drowning in her seas
She's nearly crawling on her knees
She's down on her knees
Take the way home that leads back to Sullivan Street
Where I'm just another rider burned to the ground
Come tumbling down
I'm almost drowning in her sea
She's nearly crawling on her knees
It's almost everything I need
I'm down on my knees
I'm down on my knees
Today was superficial. There wasn't any imposition and yet, I felt so cramped up in my head. I wasn't in the best frame of mind... and I had to struggle through 12 hours of work without creating a stir which I failed. I tried holding on but a bi-s pissed me off and I lashed out at the final hour. Although it wasn't such a big mess but an impression was fabricated almost instantly as I had remained quiet throughout the day. People around me and colleagues alike were concerned as I was usually bouncy at work especially when I am dubbed Travolta as I used to do the Saturday Night Fever jig. Anyway, tough beans... it wasn't my day today at all.
I encountered another thing as well today... a realisation into the world of strange voices. Throughout the day, I discovered something which I found quite strange... which was being in a position where everyone spoke Mandarin and it was sad as I was basically baffled at every conversation with my colleagues. In fact, most friends whom I know of here are of a Chinese background which totally contradicts my bringing-up language. In my point of view, my linguistic capabilities would outshine anyone I know here at the moment but reality sux... and I am finding it pretty frustrating to be lacking in making people understand what I'm trying to say in Mandarin although it is fair to say that it is not entirely not-understandable. In the UK... I dare say that none are on equal frequency as I am as I tend to be more grunge. The only international language keeping me sane while working here is Humour. No offence to anyone but hey, life sux for the second time, shit happens and I am still surviving in a foreigner's foreign soil...make that double as I am in a foreign soil plus having to be perplexed by my own mother tongue! But of course, I am still learning in my detoured route in life and I have never regretted having to be brought up by my English roots.
It's 7:31am now... 6 more hours before another battle through my working Sunday. How depressing can that get? But I fret no more and still, I am holding on to my fort. And I am wishing for an understanding so badly... coz' no one sees the way I am seeing now. We'll see how tomorrow comes... till then... tra.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::Counting Crows - Sullivan Street::
Take the way home that leads back to Sullivan Street
Past the shadows that fall down wherever we meet
Pretty soon now I won't come around
I'm almost drowning in her sea
She's nearly fallen to her knees
Take the way home
Take the way home that leads back to Sullivan Street
Where all the bodies hang on the air
If she remembers, she hides it whenever we meet
Either way now, I don't really care
Cause I'm gone from there
I'm almost drowning in her seas
She's nearly crawling on her knees
She's down on her knees
Take the way home that leads back to Sullivan Street
Where I'm just another rider burned to the ground
Come tumbling down
I'm almost drowning in her sea
She's nearly crawling on her knees
It's almost everything I need
I'm down on my knees
I'm down on my knees
Saturday, May 04, 2002
Desperately Wanting
Today, I was totally distraught at a few things which had an adverse effect on my mood. One thing lead to another and there was a deep sense of contemplation on a subject... my career. Is it leading to anywhere or should I be on the Masters degree? Should I go on with my scholarship or should I feel all choked up at the moment to overlook any plans to further my education. If so... how would I do it? The whole day was spent contemplating on this subject... tried to look for some consolation but there wasn't anyone around for me that time. However, at the end of the day, Desmond and I agreed to go forward with some plans that both of us felt we should do at the moment before we take the next step. It would be a critical period for the both of us and especially me over the next few weeks. God help us. As I've said, its so frustrating not to be having everything in our hands. And oh yeah... the second problematic not-in-my-hands-situation is the fact that my 2 flat mates will be shifting out... and I need to find another 2 mates to shift in to avoid paying a non-negotiable contract of a month's rent. The good thing is, its such a wonderful blessing to be getting rid of this 2 Chinese guys.... but the bad news is... another worry of finding a suitable flat mate so that my life won't be all so hell and messed up!
My wrist is better now... I've taken off the bandage and it's almost fine now. Applied some medications on it and its really recovering fast. Not the complete recovery yet but I could manage an almost free movement on my wrist. Thanks for all the concern but seriously, there's no cause for any worries or consultation as my initial hunch of a hairline fracture was a fluke. I will consult a doctor if it deteriorates or doesn't heal completely in a weeks time.
Richard's brother's restaurant at Birkenhead was busted by immigration officers and 4 employees were arrested. According to sources, it was a tip off by an arch rival and it resulted to high tensions at the restaurant I am working at. Everyone was on the lookout and tension remains high until the whole matter is resolved. All in all... not a very good day and the only consolation was to be back at home right now reminiscing about the good times in the past... hope everything turns out fine and smooth... pray for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Better Than Ezra
~~~The Killer Inside~~~
Well, she believes that I'd be better off without her.
And she believes in me.
Well, she believes that time can make things right.
And I want to believe that there's been a change in me.
[Chorus:]
And I hope that she believes.
Yes, I wonder if she sees the killer inside me.
The lights go down
And the clouds are building outside.
You close the door and turn the key,
But there's no place to hide.
[Chorus:]
And I hope that she believes.
Yes, I wonder if she sees the killer inside me.
The killer inside me.
The killer inside me.
The killer inside...
Today, I was totally distraught at a few things which had an adverse effect on my mood. One thing lead to another and there was a deep sense of contemplation on a subject... my career. Is it leading to anywhere or should I be on the Masters degree? Should I go on with my scholarship or should I feel all choked up at the moment to overlook any plans to further my education. If so... how would I do it? The whole day was spent contemplating on this subject... tried to look for some consolation but there wasn't anyone around for me that time. However, at the end of the day, Desmond and I agreed to go forward with some plans that both of us felt we should do at the moment before we take the next step. It would be a critical period for the both of us and especially me over the next few weeks. God help us. As I've said, its so frustrating not to be having everything in our hands. And oh yeah... the second problematic not-in-my-hands-situation is the fact that my 2 flat mates will be shifting out... and I need to find another 2 mates to shift in to avoid paying a non-negotiable contract of a month's rent. The good thing is, its such a wonderful blessing to be getting rid of this 2 Chinese guys.... but the bad news is... another worry of finding a suitable flat mate so that my life won't be all so hell and messed up!
My wrist is better now... I've taken off the bandage and it's almost fine now. Applied some medications on it and its really recovering fast. Not the complete recovery yet but I could manage an almost free movement on my wrist. Thanks for all the concern but seriously, there's no cause for any worries or consultation as my initial hunch of a hairline fracture was a fluke. I will consult a doctor if it deteriorates or doesn't heal completely in a weeks time.
Richard's brother's restaurant at Birkenhead was busted by immigration officers and 4 employees were arrested. According to sources, it was a tip off by an arch rival and it resulted to high tensions at the restaurant I am working at. Everyone was on the lookout and tension remains high until the whole matter is resolved. All in all... not a very good day and the only consolation was to be back at home right now reminiscing about the good times in the past... hope everything turns out fine and smooth... pray for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Better Than Ezra
~~~The Killer Inside~~~
Well, she believes that I'd be better off without her.
And she believes in me.
Well, she believes that time can make things right.
And I want to believe that there's been a change in me.
[Chorus:]
And I hope that she believes.
Yes, I wonder if she sees the killer inside me.
The lights go down
And the clouds are building outside.
You close the door and turn the key,
But there's no place to hide.
[Chorus:]
And I hope that she believes.
Yes, I wonder if she sees the killer inside me.
The killer inside me.
The killer inside me.
The killer inside...
Thursday, May 02, 2002
The Beginning is the End is the Beginning
My right hand is wrapped in bandage now for a suspected hairline fracture and it remains virtually 'paralysed' at the moment. Didn't know a football match after 2 years can result in such a mess... moreover, it was just a workout. Anyway, still surviving and I'm typing with only my left hand now.
Liverpool have lost their grip on the title this time around but hey... I am still looking forward to Liverpool clinching the second spot in the Premiership to enable them to qualify for an automatic Champions League position without having to go through the qualifying rounds. I have not given up hope yet after 13 years of staunch supporting and I ain't giving up now... not ever. Next Wednesday's match with Blackburn will be vital... and they won't be without my vocal support. People have said its a diabolical way of wasting my money but hey... after 13 years of dreams, hopes, aspirations, eagerness, passion and love... I would say its blardy worth every penny of it! It's in my blood and its for life! Take that or eat my shorts! You'll Never Walk Alone...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I still remember this one poem which I will never forget.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And when you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint behind the clouds of doubt,
You can never tell how close you are,
It may be near, though it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things go wrong that you musn't quit.
YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE.
~3 yrs, 4 mths, 2 days old ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ Galapogos-Smashing Pumpkins ~
Ain't it funny how we pretend we're still a child
Softly stolen under our blanket skies
And rescue me from me, and all that i believe
I won't deny the pain
I won't deny the change
And should i fall from grace here with you
Will you leave me too?
Carve out your heart for keeps in an old oak tree
And hold me for goodbyes-and whispered lullabyes
And tell me i am still
The man i'm supposed to be
I won't deny the pain
I won't deny the change
And should i fall from grace here with you
Will you leave me too?
Too late to turn back now, i'm running out of sound
And i am changing, changing
And if we died right now, this fool you love somehow
Is here with you
I won't deny the pain
I won't deny the change
And should i fall from grace here with you
Would you leave me too?
My right hand is wrapped in bandage now for a suspected hairline fracture and it remains virtually 'paralysed' at the moment. Didn't know a football match after 2 years can result in such a mess... moreover, it was just a workout. Anyway, still surviving and I'm typing with only my left hand now.
Liverpool have lost their grip on the title this time around but hey... I am still looking forward to Liverpool clinching the second spot in the Premiership to enable them to qualify for an automatic Champions League position without having to go through the qualifying rounds. I have not given up hope yet after 13 years of staunch supporting and I ain't giving up now... not ever. Next Wednesday's match with Blackburn will be vital... and they won't be without my vocal support. People have said its a diabolical way of wasting my money but hey... after 13 years of dreams, hopes, aspirations, eagerness, passion and love... I would say its blardy worth every penny of it! It's in my blood and its for life! Take that or eat my shorts! You'll Never Walk Alone...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I still remember this one poem which I will never forget.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And when you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint behind the clouds of doubt,
You can never tell how close you are,
It may be near, though it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things go wrong that you musn't quit.
YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE.
~3 yrs, 4 mths, 2 days old ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ Galapogos-Smashing Pumpkins ~
Ain't it funny how we pretend we're still a child
Softly stolen under our blanket skies
And rescue me from me, and all that i believe
I won't deny the pain
I won't deny the change
And should i fall from grace here with you
Will you leave me too?
Carve out your heart for keeps in an old oak tree
And hold me for goodbyes-and whispered lullabyes
And tell me i am still
The man i'm supposed to be
I won't deny the pain
I won't deny the change
And should i fall from grace here with you
Will you leave me too?
Too late to turn back now, i'm running out of sound
And i am changing, changing
And if we died right now, this fool you love somehow
Is here with you
I won't deny the pain
I won't deny the change
And should i fall from grace here with you
Would you leave me too?
Wednesday, May 01, 2002
What Can I Do
Tuesday... a day associated with catching up after Monday Blues and I did just that. For the first time since 2000, I played my first competitve football. It was a 5-a-side match at an indoor stadium at 11am. A match which I managed to score a convincing 7 goals but unfortunately enough, I fractured my wrist bone. It doesn't look as bad as said here but it is bad. I am recuperating but it was a horrendous fall and it did made me 'temporary-disabled' today at work.
Alas... made up my mind on the interview date. It would be held on the 13th May 2002 at Wolverhampton, West Midlands at 12pm. I chose 13th because the specific date contained enough bad luck and superstituous elements and I was thinking... what can be more wrong and luckless than it is right now for me? Therefore, we'll see how it goes. Wish me luck again guys.
Sometimes, after trudging this long long road, I feel tired and wish I could be somewhere else but another part of me recognises the responsibilites of life... my commitments towards my career and other aspects of life. Am I silly not to be enjoying life now? Am I too young for this? Or am I just being practical here in understanding the needs of my future? I wonder too much sometimes. But one things' for sure, I have developed a great self belief within myself over the years especially now that I've been out here alone earning every penny I sweat for! It wasn't as if I asked to be in my shoes now... for Christ sake... I am a f***ing Engineer... a full fledged qualified engineer! That's why I really wonder sometimes what makes some students sigh about their life when they have not been placed in a situation where you are given no choice, hung in limbo, and forced to work your way through the bad times to earn your very own living! That's my life now and I am f***ing proud to claim my place in self realisation! I am not trying to be a smart ass here but hey, that's life and although it sucks... you live with it and most importantly, learn from it! Some people have all the luck in the world huh? with a silver spoon in their mouth and still sigh... eat my shorts dude!
That's all folks... it was just part of the angst in me... needed to let it out. Till tomorrow... it was a Hard Day's Night.
The Actor
He takes you out and he takes you up, 'cause he can show you so much,
I go to bed and tomorrow again, there's a lot of work to be done
He gives you gold and he'll promise you, the whole world will be yours,
I just can tell you I love you so, even though my odds are low,
Chorus:
I’m not an actor I'm not a star and I don't even have my own car
But I'm hoping so much you’ll stay that you will love me anyway
The dirty games and the neonshows, this is the world he knows
Watching the stars satisfies my soul, thinking of him makes me feel so cold,
The fancy cars and the restaurants, you’re just so fond of the man,
Sometimes I wonder if you are blind, can’t you see, he’s got dirt on his mind,
Chorus:
I’m not an actor I’m not a star
and I don’t even have my own car...
Tuesday... a day associated with catching up after Monday Blues and I did just that. For the first time since 2000, I played my first competitve football. It was a 5-a-side match at an indoor stadium at 11am. A match which I managed to score a convincing 7 goals but unfortunately enough, I fractured my wrist bone. It doesn't look as bad as said here but it is bad. I am recuperating but it was a horrendous fall and it did made me 'temporary-disabled' today at work.
Alas... made up my mind on the interview date. It would be held on the 13th May 2002 at Wolverhampton, West Midlands at 12pm. I chose 13th because the specific date contained enough bad luck and superstituous elements and I was thinking... what can be more wrong and luckless than it is right now for me? Therefore, we'll see how it goes. Wish me luck again guys.
Sometimes, after trudging this long long road, I feel tired and wish I could be somewhere else but another part of me recognises the responsibilites of life... my commitments towards my career and other aspects of life. Am I silly not to be enjoying life now? Am I too young for this? Or am I just being practical here in understanding the needs of my future? I wonder too much sometimes. But one things' for sure, I have developed a great self belief within myself over the years especially now that I've been out here alone earning every penny I sweat for! It wasn't as if I asked to be in my shoes now... for Christ sake... I am a f***ing Engineer... a full fledged qualified engineer! That's why I really wonder sometimes what makes some students sigh about their life when they have not been placed in a situation where you are given no choice, hung in limbo, and forced to work your way through the bad times to earn your very own living! That's my life now and I am f***ing proud to claim my place in self realisation! I am not trying to be a smart ass here but hey, that's life and although it sucks... you live with it and most importantly, learn from it! Some people have all the luck in the world huh? with a silver spoon in their mouth and still sigh... eat my shorts dude!
That's all folks... it was just part of the angst in me... needed to let it out. Till tomorrow... it was a Hard Day's Night.
The Actor
He takes you out and he takes you up, 'cause he can show you so much,
I go to bed and tomorrow again, there's a lot of work to be done
He gives you gold and he'll promise you, the whole world will be yours,
I just can tell you I love you so, even though my odds are low,
Chorus:
I’m not an actor I'm not a star and I don't even have my own car
But I'm hoping so much you’ll stay that you will love me anyway
The dirty games and the neonshows, this is the world he knows
Watching the stars satisfies my soul, thinking of him makes me feel so cold,
The fancy cars and the restaurants, you’re just so fond of the man,
Sometimes I wonder if you are blind, can’t you see, he’s got dirt on his mind,
Chorus:
I’m not an actor I’m not a star
and I don’t even have my own car...