Still Time...

What Can I Do

Tuesday... a day associated with catching up after Monday Blues and I did just that. For the first time since 2000, I played my first competitve football. It was a 5-a-side match at an indoor stadium at 11am. A match which I managed to score a convincing 7 goals but unfortunately enough, I fractured my wrist bone. It doesn't look as bad as said here but it is bad. I am recuperating but it was a horrendous fall and it did made me 'temporary-disabled' today at work.

Alas... made up my mind on the interview date. It would be held on the 13th May 2002 at Wolverhampton, West Midlands at 12pm. I chose 13th because the specific date contained enough bad luck and superstituous elements and I was thinking... what can be more wrong and luckless than it is right now for me? Therefore, we'll see how it goes. Wish me luck again guys.

Sometimes, after trudging this long long road, I feel tired and wish I could be somewhere else but another part of me recognises the responsibilites of life... my commitments towards my career and other aspects of life. Am I silly not to be enjoying life now? Am I too young for this? Or am I just being practical here in understanding the needs of my future? I wonder too much sometimes. But one things' for sure, I have developed a great self belief within myself over the years especially now that I've been out here alone earning every penny I sweat for! It wasn't as if I asked to be in my shoes now... for Christ sake... I am a f***ing Engineer... a full fledged qualified engineer! That's why I really wonder sometimes what makes some students sigh about their life when they have not been placed in a situation where you are given no choice, hung in limbo, and forced to work your way through the bad times to earn your very own living! That's my life now and I am f***ing proud to claim my place in self realisation! I am not trying to be a smart ass here but hey, that's life and although it sucks... you live with it and most importantly, learn from it! Some people have all the luck in the world huh? with a silver spoon in their mouth and still sigh... eat my shorts dude!

That's all folks... it was just part of the angst in me... needed to let it out. Till tomorrow... it was a Hard Day's Night.


The Actor

He takes you out and he takes you up, 'cause he can show you so much,
I go to bed and tomorrow again, there's a lot of work to be done

He gives you gold and he'll promise you, the whole world will be yours,
I just can tell you I love you so, even though my odds are low,

Chorus:
I’m not an actor I'm not a star and I don't even have my own car
But I'm hoping so much you’ll stay that you will love me anyway

The dirty games and the neonshows, this is the world he knows
Watching the stars satisfies my soul, thinking of him makes me feel so cold,
The fancy cars and the restaurants, you’re just so fond of the man,
Sometimes I wonder if you are blind, can’t you see, he’s got dirt on his mind,

Chorus:
I’m not an actor I’m not a star
and I don’t even have my own car...