Sunday, May 05, 2002

Champagne Supernova

Today was superficial. There wasn't any imposition and yet, I felt so cramped up in my head. I wasn't in the best frame of mind... and I had to struggle through 12 hours of work without creating a stir which I failed. I tried holding on but a bi-s pissed me off and I lashed out at the final hour. Although it wasn't such a big mess but an impression was fabricated almost instantly as I had remained quiet throughout the day. People around me and colleagues alike were concerned as I was usually bouncy at work especially when I am dubbed Travolta as I used to do the Saturday Night Fever jig. Anyway, tough beans... it wasn't my day today at all.

I encountered another thing as well today... a realisation into the world of strange voices. Throughout the day, I discovered something which I found quite strange... which was being in a position where everyone spoke Mandarin and it was sad as I was basically baffled at every conversation with my colleagues. In fact, most friends whom I know of here are of a Chinese background which totally contradicts my bringing-up language. In my point of view, my linguistic capabilities would outshine anyone I know here at the moment but reality sux... and I am finding it pretty frustrating to be lacking in making people understand what I'm trying to say in Mandarin although it is fair to say that it is not entirely not-understandable. In the UK... I dare say that none are on equal frequency as I am as I tend to be more grunge. The only international language keeping me sane while working here is Humour. No offence to anyone but hey, life sux for the second time, shit happens and I am still surviving in a foreigner's foreign soil...make that double as I am in a foreign soil plus having to be perplexed by my own mother tongue! But of course, I am still learning in my detoured route in life and I have never regretted having to be brought up by my English roots.

It's 7:31am now... 6 more hours before another battle through my working Sunday. How depressing can that get? But I fret no more and still, I am holding on to my fort. And I am wishing for an understanding so badly... coz' no one sees the way I am seeing now. We'll see how tomorrow comes... till then... tra.

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::Counting Crows - Sullivan Street::

Take the way home that leads back to Sullivan Street
Past the shadows that fall down wherever we meet
Pretty soon now I won't come around

I'm almost drowning in her sea
She's nearly fallen to her knees

Take the way home
Take the way home that leads back to Sullivan Street
Where all the bodies hang on the air
If she remembers, she hides it whenever we meet
Either way now, I don't really care
Cause I'm gone from there

I'm almost drowning in her seas
She's nearly crawling on her knees
She's down on her knees

Take the way home that leads back to Sullivan Street
Where I'm just another rider burned to the ground
Come tumbling down

I'm almost drowning in her sea
She's nearly crawling on her knees
It's almost everything I need
I'm down on my knees
I'm down on my knees


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