Still Time...

The day felt gloomy even though it looked more like spring time now. It took me exactly 6 hours to reach Liverpool from Colchester. Thought things would be alrite and things just went 'better'. I had partial injuries yesterday after the badminton match due to a long overdue lack of practise since high school. Today, my injury went one notch up when I twisted my ankle at Euston and I injured my hip bone due to an overload of lugagge. When I got back, my shoulders were yelling for mercy. Things just didn't stop there... when I thought that my misery would end, I had to endure the stress of opening a string of letters. Two rejected applications, one pending from companies and bank letters compounded my already numb feeling and the thought of going to work after that shattered any hope of even a smile.

As I walked to work, many things ran up my mind. First of all, when we deposit money into our account, do we ask the bank whether our money is safe with them? No, we dont't but I do have a tendency to check my account from time to time... sometimes daily to keep me secured. Am I wrong in doing so? Or maybe I should just place money in the bank, keep my mouth shut, and let the bank deal with its own security to keep my money safe. But hey, it's just me, I feel restless when I don't know where my bank account stands but I trust the bank with all my faith. It's peculiar of me. I hope it's not wrong. It's not that I am pressurising the bank but I too know that too much of it will result in the bank asking to me f*** off and open an account else where but still, my loyalty remains with the bank. Secondly, I have been wondering to myself after watching the show 'A Beautiful Mind' to whether I am schizophrenic or not. Sometimes it's just me that I like to watch movies alone, have a cuppa alone, be with nature alone, and do a whole lot of other stuff alone, does this lead to delusion and faulty preceptions? To be honest, I have been keeping myself from the spotlight quite lately and maybe it's time for me to venture out more. But hey... don't mistake me for a psychopath ok? I'm definitely not! Thirdly, have I wondered far beyond the basic communications of human life? Have I forgotten how to social? Am I that busy...?(In fact I am!!!) I spend 24/7 working out on personal stuffs, financial matters, applications and work and it just keeps me on my toes. Anyway, it's been quite depressing and I wouldn't even wanna compound it further now before I head for bed.

To be very honest, time is really sucking the life out of me. Uncertainty sux but I guess I have no option but to folllow the flow and remain as a contender. I've also managed to discover some areas that I could work in. It's been painstaking but hopefully, time will tell. Actually, I am too tired right now... another tough day ahead for me tomorrow... even shittier than today... my body feels brittly, numb and I am all too mentally stressed out now but I am still keeping my composure to remain sane during these times. Unforgivable to an extend, I will fight with courage, determination and motivation no matter how long it takes to get back to my best. It's the most testing ever period of my life since the horrific ordeal I had almost 4 years back. To those who knows me best, you know I will fight and till the end it will be. Tra' now...

p/s: I am safe and sound...