Still Time...

::Tuesday 9 April 2002, 2:46am::

Amelioration Period

This site will be going through a restoration period due to a prolific of events which has crashed the entire system. The author wishes to submit into oblivion for an undesignated period of time. Updates will be submitted whenever possible. A new section of private journals or short stories will be added when the author returns. Thanks for all your support.

Plunging into Melancholia in Liverpool...

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Shattered Dreams

Today’s Sunday wasn’t as busy as expected. Maybe the favorites didn’t come out as expected as well and all investments were grounded to the bookies. Today seemed a fine Sunday until 10:15pm. At 10:56pm, history was rewritten.

Therefore, on the 7th April 2002 at 10:56pm, the clock halted momentarily as I had a total periodic flashback of 3 years, 3 months, 21 days, 12 hours and 26 minutes. A definite full stop to an illustrious chapter in my life for a very long time to come. I paused for a moment, subjugating my feelings to a complete question mark.

I will eventually get myself rolling again but time has been stagnant since then. Will the clock tick again to allow time to run through the years? As my mate said, you’ve invested far too much on this property, when the shares dropped drastically, it will take the whole lot to come back stronger. I hope the chapters are not closed. But this hope is the mother of all hope.

Nonetheless, life will continue regardless of everything but nothing… but time for me will be stagnant for quite some time to come. It’ll take a while before it really sets in… My astrologer’s forecast for today was terrifyingly true but it will be withheld here.

My soul hangs in a balance at the moment, recalling what was said as ‘No matter how or what’… but that seems to be lying in tatters and in a distance. Exactly 8 more days, 2 hours and 37minutes from now will be an opportunity I fear and cherish most. I will make the most out of it. GOD help me.

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::Monday 8 April 2002, 3:19pm::

Woke up to a brand new start to the day, my MP3's went full blast, the last thing I need right now is serenity, and a room full of pictures and memories. It's hard being and doing without her after all these years. Songs from Def Leppard and Wet Wet Wet seems to hit the key with of my feelings. Here's part of it:

::Third Eye Blind: How's It Going To Be::

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore
Before you take a swing
I wonder what are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I want to get out of this
I wonder is there anything
I'm going to miss

I wonder how it's going to be
When you don't know me
How's it going to be
When you're sure I'm not there
How's it going to be
When there's no one there to talk to
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be

How's it going to be
Where we used to laugh
There's a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can't ignore
Like the hammock by the
Doorway we spent time in swings empty
Don't see lightning like last fall
When it was always about to hit me

I wonder how's it going to be
When it goes down
How's it going to be
When you're not around
How's it going to be
When you found out there was nothing
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be

And how's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
And how's it going to be
Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion
I want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion oblivion

How's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
How's it going to be
How's it going to be
How's it going to be

Goodbye girl and take care. I am fine by the way.